An Ode of True Love to Josh-bhai

Joshua Schulgasser was born in Be’er Sheva to religious American parents. Notwithstanding that, their home’s library was replete with a plethora of subjects and titles, all of which went uncensored before the Schulgasser children’s young minds. Indeed, his English is not that of the typical only-spoken-at-home variety. It is accentless and cultivated. Mother was a prodigious gourmet, giving the children a lifelong love of and talent in the culinary arts.

It was an immigrant childhood to be sure, growing up in two very different worlds: New York Jew at home; North African development town outside, even though there is also a considerable Ashekenazi community. The contrast could not be starker.

Josh-bhai is a genius. He excelled at his studies. An electrical engineer by university training, he spent six years in the Israeli Air Force, rising to the rank of Major as an integrator for the software that flies F-16 fighter jets.

Like many children of immigrants, his search for his own national identity drew him to travel, in his case to India, which was our initial point of conversation. We met as he was leaving after a year in private hi-tech in Herzelia Pituah, Israel’s Silicon Wadi, on his way to Europe and India (again). I was a technical writer and had required information on a project he had integrated. In all my years of technical writing, no engineer ever presented me with such complete work. When it came up that he was into Bollywood cinema, on the heels of the return from my first trip to the Subcontinent, his imminent journey aside, I knew immediately that I could not let him go, at least metaphorically. In the years that have followed, we have only grown closer.

Josh-bhai’s trips to India and his natural diligence have endowed him with fluent Hindi. Further studies in India have made him an amateur classical musician. Upon returning from the sojourn after we had initially met, he decided that work in hi-tech could wait, and went on to study for, and complete, a degree in fine arts, with distinction. Talent is not lacking.

Apparently, Josh’s Hindi is so good, that New York Yid looks aside, he is taken for an Indian when in Hindustan. My own experience has shown me that very few people can achieve this level of linguistic integration, especially as an adult. As such, Josh-bhai is fully versed in the linguistic mindset, and quite aware of the cultural differences.

Linguistic integration in a culture where the general worldview is so far removed from one’s origins inevitably creates a state of cognitive dissonance. Josh had warned me that as soon as my Hindi was conversational, Indian men would eventually turn the topic of dialog to my sex life. This is not an easily discussed subject in India, and the perception of foreigners as, shall we say, libertine, persists, thereby making such talk most uncomfortable. Suffice it to say that in my personal opinion, the views of most Indians on sex are totally messed up. I reckon if they were to probe me on the subject, they would likely be mortified by what they heard. So my tactic has been feign mild offense at such “personal” questions when they come up, and this always works.

Josh told me that when you want to integrate, you make a supreme effort. However, when you’re finally on the “inside”, you often don’t like what you find out. This again brings us to living with complexity.

Of the many things I admire about Josh-bhai, one of the most striking is that he has always followed his heart. Financially responsible, when he has needed to work, he has done so. When he has wanted to travel, he has hit the road, mostly to India, with a few side trips to Europe as well. When he yearned to make art, he cast aside the advice of others and studied for several years. And none of this has impeded him in any way. On the contrary, he is the richest and best-rounded person I know. The validation I needed to pursue my interests in Hindi language and cinema was validated by him. The courage to follow my heart and come to India was inspired by him. And owing to a striking similarity in backgrounds, and an uncommonly sensitive intuition on his part, I would venture that he is the one person in the entire world (and I’ve seen much of it) who truly understands me. And while once again oceans and continents separate us, I want to dedicate this series on the Nationally Confused to Josh-bhai, out of admiration and love. Through him, I began to understand that identity is something you construct yourself, and as your own creation, you have every right to be proud of it.